The Pain Only Few Have Ever Known

Suddenly losing a sister. Written by Odessa Jayde.

The day after Christmas, I lost my sister. She originally wasn’t supposed to live the first twenty-four hours. She lived to be ten years old. She was born with a lot of health issues (cerebral palsy, microcephaly and a few other issues I can’t remember).


I remember the day she died like it was yesterday. It was my 12 year-old sister’s birthday and I was going up to my mom’s to spend the day with them and have dinner with them. I met up with my sister at a park that was in between my house and my mom’s house. We hit the corner to walk up the street when we heard the sirens, then we saw the ambulance and the police cars.


We got closer to my mom’s house and that’s when my sister and I realized that the ambulance was at my moms house and we started to run. We hit the corner right across from her house and I heard “Those are my girls! Stop my girls!” I recognized the voice as my mom's. She was sitting on her front porch with an officer next to her to help her, while my sister was being carried to the ambulance. I had called my grandma when we heard the sirens and then I called her again to tell her what was going on. She then called my grandfather to come get me and my sister and bring us home. I sat in the truck while I watched my mom run to the cop car to get taken to the hospital.


My grandfather took me and my sister home, my other grandfather called and said my sister had died, even though we weren’t a hundred percent sure. My other siblings were brought to the house. I sat there waiting for any new information on my sister, my grandma got a call from my mom saying she wanted my gramma to go to the hospital and sit with her. My grandma took me into my computer room and told me my sister died. My aunt and cousin came to sit with us while my grandpa took my grandma up to the hospital. I tried my best to not be hysterical but it was really hard not to fall apart.


After my grandma came home, I left to go be with my boyfriend and his mom. I sat in his bed and cried for a long time and just talked to him about how I felt. After a few hours I went home. Five days after my siblings were removed from my mom and placed into foster care.


January 2nd we had my sister’s funeral, I was in shock and couldn’t cry. I didn’t want to believe that my sister was gone, I blamed myself for the longest time. I thought “if I had gotten there sooner, I could’ve done something”. I felt like it was my fault that my sister died. I didn’t want to get out of bed. After all of this I was expected to go back to school and that was one of the hardest things in my life.


After my sister was gone for a couple months, I made the decision to go see my sister’s teacher and see the classroom. It felt extremely hard but I did it.


Odessa Jayde lost her sister the day after Christmas of 2020. She has decided to share her story online.